CatfishKev Report post Posted March 23, 2019 So unfortunately my oldest daughter is seriously lacking confidence. She won't stand up to her "friends" and allows herself to be a doormat. She's absolutely beautiful, funny and a downright riot to be around, and I'm not saying that just because she's my kid. It's the honest to God truth. So I've come to the conclusion that I need to step in. My wife and I try to boost her up and let her know how great she is and support her but it's just not enough.. So im thinking a boxing or mma type gym or something. Have you had a similar experience? What worked, and what would you recomend. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Big Browns Report post Posted March 23, 2019 Definitely get her involved in some type of martial arts!!!!! Definitely helped my kids! 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
firstcoueswas80 Report post Posted March 23, 2019 Jui jitsu. My son has been doing it about 8 months, and that little SOB gets AFTER IT when we wrestle. Guarantee when she chokes her first opponent (student in the class) out, her confidence will sky rocket. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CatfishKev Report post Posted March 23, 2019 Thanks Adam! She doesn't like the idea of Karate I think because it's like the first thing nerds do to defend themselves. Which i suppose may be true, so thats why i was thinking more mma or boxing. In the end i feel like its my fault for being way too hard on my kids in the beginning, wish I could go back. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CatfishKev Report post Posted March 23, 2019 2 minutes ago, firstcoueswas80 said: Jui jitsu. My son has been doing it about 8 months, and that little SOB gets AFTER IT when we wrestle. Guarantee when she chokes her first opponent (student in the class) out, her confidence will sky rocket. Holy crap! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KoosCrazy Report post Posted March 23, 2019 Any sports, 4H, FFA, shooting sports get her involved. 4H and FFA do a excellent job with building leadership skills. Team sports do a great job building confidence 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jimmer Negamanee Report post Posted March 23, 2019 I like your boxing idea. I think that will have the most immediate impact. It won't take long for her to be punching hard with great footwork and balance. Plus, light sparing will get her used to dealing with incoming strikes and realizing that the incoming punch doesn't need to miss by much to be completely ineffective. It's also something that she could do by herself with a heavy bag and/or one of those cool "Bob" punching forms. I bet you could find some former boxers in your area who would be willing to train her on an hourly (or 1/2 hourly) basis. Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu is great too but for different reasons. It takes a little longer to feel competent but it has the advantage of being a group environment which would offer her a different, positive, peer group. MMA may be a blending of both. Maybe you can both train together? But don't take self-defense advice from me: As a parent, you're doing the right thing by trying. When my son was younger (like middle school through high school) I used to say that he never wanted me less but needed me more. (My daughter was much easier.) I think the point is to try to get girls to about 22 years old and boys to about 30 years old without them having made any life-alteringly stupid decisions. For some people, parenting is smooth sailing, for others it's maneuvering through one storm after another. Our kids are not "our" kids after all. They are their own, autonomous humans. Control is an illusion. All we can do is be indefatigable and have the "I love you and there's absolutely nothing you can do about it." attitude. My daughter was my first born and when I first saw her I realized that from that day forward my heart would be wandering around outside my body for the rest of my life. It's stressful at times but it's what you signed up for. You got this. 4 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wellhead Report post Posted March 23, 2019 This is a challenge since what works for one kid may not for another. My younger one did well in baseball but no so much with the older boy. Team sports didn't work as well for him. Got them into Scholastic Clay Targets and that was a boost for both. Size, strength, physique doesn't matter. Can they focus and meet the mental challenge of hitting the target and overcome missing a target. I think archery or any shooting sport helps build confidence. These sports also reinforce making a person be responsible and that ties in with confidence. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AZBIG10 Report post Posted March 23, 2019 Archery 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TOBY Report post Posted March 23, 2019 Something they choose to do and not forced to . Can't make your kid something they are not wired to be. 5 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Smith2260 Report post Posted March 23, 2019 A mentor or someone to look up to has been huge for my high schoolers. Whether it’s a coach, teacher, pastor or neighbor rancher. My wife and I do a ton with and for our kids, but we are still “Mom and Dad”. My buddy says the exact same thing I do to my son and he takes it as gold. My daughters Coach gives her the same advise I do and she listens. Either way, our goal has been to love them and provide discipline at home. And to find a way to put great people in their life for them to reach to be one day. I would brainstorm with your wife and daughter and find a strong young woman that is just a few years older than your daughter. Maybe a young coach she knows or a young adult from church. Maybe early college or a senior in high school that can have coffee or go for a hike on a trail. That young woman has likely been in your daughters shoes very recently and understands social media and bullying in today’s world that we did not have 20 years ago. You may never know the conversation that takes place but you will get a feel for how it went when she gets home and the days that follow. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CatfishKev Report post Posted March 23, 2019 All great advice, thanks guys. She has expressed an interest in boxing so I'm planning on visiting some of the places here in town and poke around a little 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Heat Report post Posted March 24, 2019 "My daughter was my first born and when I first saw her I realized that from that day forward my heart would be wandering around outside my body for the rest of my life. It's stressful at times but it's what you signed up for. You got this." This is exactly right on the money! Very well stated Jimmer! I completely agree with getting her involved in some sort of team or physically challenging activity. I for one can tell you care a great deal about your daughter to bring this up here asking for help and I believe you have gotten some solid advice. Good work Dad! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
More D Report post Posted March 24, 2019 I second what Casey said. My eight year old is a great kid. Smartest in his entire grade. Funny! Very polite! But he is too nice. Unfortunately in today's world it may be seen as weakness. Jujitsu has really helped him grow in SO MANY WAYS. It has been amazing. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Hoss50 Report post Posted March 24, 2019 Brazilian jiu jitsu. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
