You Live In???

[CHD]

You live in Arizona when.....

1. You are willing to park 3 blocks away because you found shade.

2. You can open and drive your car without touching the car door or the steering wheel.

3. You think it's normal to have black widow spiders under your patio furniture.

4. You only run errands at night.

5. You can attend any function wearing shorts and a tank top. Picture lingerie ads for those formal events.

6. It is 115* outside but you need a parka for inside the restaurants.

7. You see water in the riverbed once every 100 years.

8. You have over 200 recipes for Mexican food.

9. The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!!

10. You know that "dry heat" is comparable to what hits you in the face when you open your oven door.

11. A cactus actually falls over and crushes its unwary victim.

 

You Live in California when..

1. You make over $250,000 and you still can't afford to buy a house.

2. The high school quarterback calls a time-out to answer his cell phone.

3. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.

4. You know how to eat an artichoke.

5. You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block party.

6. When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long it will

take to get there rather than how many miles away it is.

7. You can drive 4 hours in one direction and never leave town.

 

You Live in New York City when...

1. You say "the city" and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan.

2. You have never been to the Statue of Liberty or the Empire State Building.

3. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle

to Battery Park, but can't find Wisconsin on a map.

4. You think Central Park is "nature".

5. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you

multi-lingual.

6. You've worn out a car horn.

7. You think eye contact is an act of aggression.

 

You Live in Maine when...

1. You only have four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco.

2. Halloween costumes fit over parkas.

3. You have more than one recipe for moose.

4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.

5. The four seasons are: almost winter, winter, still winter, and construction.

 

You Live in the Deep South when...

1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.

2. "ya'll" is singular and "all ya'll" is plural.

3. After five years you still hear, "You ain't from 'round here, are Ya?"

4. "He needed killin' " is a valid defense.

5. You can't find a parking spot at Wal Mart on a Saturday night.

6. Everyone has 2 first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Mary Sue, Betty Jean, etc.

 

You live in Colorado when...

1. You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car.

2. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home and he stops at the day care center.

3. A pass does not involve a football or dating.

4. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail.

5. Everyone excitedly plans to meet at a "Traihead" for a challenging hike after work.

 

You live in the Midwest when...

1. You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.

2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor

3. You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same day.

4. You end sentences with a preposition: "Where's my coat at?"

5. When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say,

"It was different!"

6. You can't imagine "catching a cab".

7. Saturday nights are the same as Monday nights.

 

You live in Florida when....

1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.

2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind -- even houses and cars.

3. Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist.

4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.

5. Cars in front of you are often driven by headless people.

6. Your state's nickname is "Heaven's waiting room".