Lexiophiles

[CHD]

How many make sense?

 

1. A bicycle can't stand alone because it is two-tired.

 

2. What's the definition of a will? It's a dead giveaway.

 

3. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

 

4. A backward poet writes inverse.

 

5. In democracy it's your vote that counts; In feudalism it's your count that votes.

 

7. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

 

8. If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed.

 

9. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.

 

10. Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-flat minor.

 

11. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

 

12. The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.

 

13. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

 

14. You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

 

15. Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.

 

16. He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.

 

17. Every calendar's days are numbered.

 

18. A lot of money is tainted. 'Taint yours and 'taint mine.

 

19. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

 

20. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

 

21. A plateau is a high form of flattery.

 

22. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

 

23. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

 

24. When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.

 

25. Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.

 

26. When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.

 

27. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.

 

28. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

 

29. Acupuncture is a jab well done.

 

30. Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat.