If big foot was real?

[Jimmer Negamanee]

It’s notoriously hard to prove a negative but I am convinced there is no Bigfoot. Furthermore, I’m so sure there is no Bigfoot that I publicly declare my intention to shoot Bigfoot if I ever saw one.

What’s more, I hereby invite every thoughtful skeptic to also vow to shoot Bigfoot on sight. This decision will have many beneficial effects and, because only thoughtful, even-tempered, critical thinkers need apply, no negative effects will be realized. Hear me out.

By definition, any yahoo who is salivating at the opportunity to take time off work and hunt down Bigfoot for the mere “sport” of shooting him doesn’t qualify as a “thoughtful, even-tempered, critical thinker”. The whole point is that there is no Bigfoot so the only people who should be taking time off of work to look for him have probably also taken time off work to attend numerous Star Trek conventions.

What I’m saying is that if I happen to be in great outdoors and I happen to have a gun and I happen to see Bigfoot, and I’m absolutely sure it’s not a bear, (or some other animal already known to science) I will shoot it.

The benefits from all of us publicly declaring our intention to shoot Bigfoot on sight will be immediate. First of all,as word gets out that skeptics are finally going to get off the fence and put their cartridges where their mouths are, the number of people who think it’s funny to don wookie costumes and go tromping around the forest will decrease precipitously. The same goes for those making fake tracks. It then follows that Bigfoot sightings by otherwise credible, city dwellers who, despite their good intentions, can’t tell the difference between a brown bear and black bear that happens to be brown, will go down correspondingly.

Now there may be one among you who is afraid of embarking on such a bold plan of action because you think that maybe, justmaybe, there really could be a Bigfoot. If that is the case, perhaps you really don’t belong in our little club of “thoughtful, even-tempered, critical thinkers”. Let me explain, however, that even if you do feel this way, our course of action is still the correct one.

Let’s all willfully suspend our disbelief and assume for a moment that Bigfoot exists. Now let’s assume that you saw him in the woods and shot him dead. What would happen?

First, you couldn’t be guilty of poaching because, as muledeerarea33? said, the law can’t proscribe shooting a creature that has never even been described by science.

In addition, if it really was a Bigfoot, it was either the last one or was part of population so small, in a habitat so fragmented, that Bigfoot, as a species, was on a bobsled to extinction anyway and you passing on the shot would not have helped.

Finally, if you shot Bigfoot you would have done a great deal to advance scientific knowledge. (I suggest you don’t field dress it and keep it cold if you can). Top researchers from across the country will be knocking down you door. And untold fame and riches await you.

All of this is, of course, will never come to pass because there is no such thing as Bigfoot. What will happen, however,is that by answering this call to arms, you can sleep soundly knowing that you are doing your part to fight an environmental fraud. Anyone can talk the skeptical talk but it takes a brave soul to walk the skeptical walk. We have upped the ante. And they will fold. Be brave.

[25-06]

Trail cams and sh!t head hounds would have proof by now. They just don't exist.

[DesertBull]

I beg to differ