Report Cards

[CHD]

Subject: Things Teachers Would Like To Write On Report Cards (But Cannot):

 

 

1. Since the last report, your child has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.

 

2. I would not allow this student to breed.

 

3. This student has delusions of adequacy.

 

4. This student is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.

 

5. This student sets low standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.

 

6. The wheel is turning but the hamster is dead.

 

7. Student has been working with glue too much.

 

8. When the student's IQ reaches 50, he should sell.

 

9. Gates are down, lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.

 

10. Your child is not the sharpest knife in the drawer.

 

11. It's hard to believe the sperm that created this student beat out 1,000,000 others.

 

12. If this student were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.