.270 Report post Posted February 27, 2007 well,just got back from the annual spamorama, intestinal gas spewin', BS contest and javelina season. this year i was the luckiest hunter. i didn't get one. but i did see the dangdest thing i ever seen. or thought it was. i was a slippin' down this here little arroyo when i jumped a lone boar hog. actually, i smelt it first. ooo, man it stunk. anyway, i was usin' my bent barrelled .30/30 with no sights and the over the shoulder with a mirror method of shootin'. just to make sure i didn't get one. well, i fired off a round or 2 and musta hit purty close, cuz danged if the pig didn't go to hollerin'. "HEY, KNOCK THAT OFF. YA ALMOST HIT ME". and he said a buncha cusswords too, but i ain't about to say all them dang things on this here family site. anyway, i had a thought, dadgum, a talkin' javelina. i ain't never seen one before. i figgerd i oughta catch it and make it a pet. be sorta like a pirate with a talkin' parrot, only i could have a javelina on my shoulder. teach it to say "ARRRR MATEY" and "YA SCURVY SEA DOG" and such. anyway, i took in after it and chased it over the ridge and the dang thing run and jumped into a beat up toyota pickup and took off. dang, now i really gotta catch it. a talkin' and drivin' javelina. ringling brothers here we come. alas, tha dang thing got away. never did catch it. next day there was a bunny cop in camp checkin' tags, until the smell got to him (it was chili bean day). anyway i told him about the talkin' javelina and he just laughed. "that wernt no talkin' javelina. that were some feller named brett" i said, "you mean ol' bullwidgeon?" and he said "yeah". i said, "well heck, i almost shot him." then we got in a discussion about it and i told him he oughta do somethin' about it before he got kilt and he said last year they made him wear a orange vest and they just got a buncha reports of a talkin' javelina wearin' an orange vest. so this year he was just on his own and if he gets shot, he gets shot. anyway, i'm glad i didn't hit him but i was sure dissapointed when i found out there weren't no talkin' javelina. Lark. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mulie hunter Report post Posted February 27, 2007 I don't Know bullwidgeon, but that's too funny!!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
azcouesandelk Report post Posted February 27, 2007 ROTFLMAO!!! I missed your comedy Lark. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CouesWhitetail Report post Posted February 27, 2007 Nice to have you back Lark Amanda Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
COOSEFAN Report post Posted February 28, 2007 That needs to get published somewhere, that's great! You might have to change some names around though! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Coues 'n' Sheep Report post Posted February 28, 2007 LMFAO!!!!!! That is great!!!! If Amanda ever puts out a book called "Campfire Stories of the CW.com"........ that one will make it for certain!!!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
WHT_MTNMAN Report post Posted February 28, 2007 Bret- That was pretty low down if you ask me, Lark called your toyota "beat up". Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JVS Report post Posted February 28, 2007 Lark...it's been a while. Thanks for the laugh, I needed it. I thought we scared you off with all our fightin we do the this forum. Everyone needs to know one thing about fightin on this site...it's alot like the special olympics...Even if you win, you're still a tard! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bullwidgeon Report post Posted February 28, 2007 Thank God you are a blind no shootin S.O.B.!! You still owe me lunch 4 or 5 times over codger, bring your gas mask, I haven't showered since '06 and I am talking 1906... Bret M. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tjhunt2 Report post Posted April 30, 2007 i've read alot of em in my few years around and just had to let the wife in on this one. she doesn't think it happened that way but i no better caus stuff like that happens to me all the time. people now n then just don't take people serious. if i new where this happened i would try and get my butt down there with the hope of gettin that there talkin javelina on video. I aint never heard of one drivin before. thanks for sharin a grate story! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GameHauler Report post Posted January 14, 2008 Thought I would bring this one back to the top for anyone who has not read it. Thanks again Lark Mike Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
stanley Report post Posted January 14, 2008 LOVE it Lark!!!! As soon as I saw the title and author of this post, I knew exactly who you were talking about and I HAD to read it!!! Thanks for the laugh! S. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mattys281 Report post Posted January 14, 2008 That wasn't in 37A was it? I'd like to run into one of those. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
.270 Report post Posted January 16, 2008 i'm still glad i missed. can you imagine guttin' that stinkin' thing out? oooo. Lark. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
