CWpredator Report post Posted June 10, 2013 DIVORCE AGREEMENT WRITTEN BY YOUNG COLLEGE STUDENT The person who wrote this is a college student. Perhaps there is hope for us after all. DIVORCE AGREEMENT Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists and Obama supporters, et al: We have stuck together since the late 1950′s for the sake of the kids, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has clearly run its course. Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right for us all, so lets just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way. Here is a model separation agreement: Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a similar portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes. We dont like redistributive taxes so you can keep them. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU. Since you hate guns and war, well take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military. Well take the nasty, smelly oil industry and you can go with wind, solar and biodiesel. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie ODonnell. You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them. Well keep capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street. You can have your beloved lifelong welfare dwellers, food stamps, homeless, homeboys, hippies, druggies and illegal aliens. Well keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEOs and rednecks. Well keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood. You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and well retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us. You can have the peaceniks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, well help provide them security. Well keep our Judeo-Christian values. You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, political correctness and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N. but we will no longer be paying the bill. Well keep the SUVs, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Volt and Leaf you can find. You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors. Well continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right. Well keep The Battle Hymn of the Republic and The National Anthem. Im sure youll be happy to substitute Imagine, Id Like to Teach the World to Sing, Kum Ba Ya or We Are the World. Well practice trickle-down economics and you can continue to give trickle up poverty your best shot. Since it often so offends you, well keep our history, our name and our flag. Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like-minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, Ill bet you answer which one of us will need whose help in 15 years. Sincerely, John J. Wall Law Student and an American P.S. Also, please take Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin & Charlie Sheen, Barbara Streisand, & ( Hanoi ) Jane Fonda with you. P.S.S. And you wont have to press 1 for English when you call our country. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
reganranch Report post Posted June 10, 2013 I'll sign this agreement. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sjvcon Report post Posted June 10, 2013 If it were only so easy ....... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Elkhunter1 Report post Posted June 11, 2013 that sounds like a fair trade me, I'll sign Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
