Kilimanjaro Report post Posted October 12, 2005 I'm a supporter of our President, but even I had to laugh at this one!! Donald Rumsfeld is giving the president his daily briefing. He concludes by saying: "Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed." "OH NO!" the President exclaims. "That's terrible!" His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the President sits, head in hands. Finally, the President looks up and asks, "How many is a brazillion?" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rigutierrez Report post Posted October 12, 2005 He is our "leader"! I would call him one of us, since I asked the same question before I saw the Punch line! He is not that bright but neither are I.... I mean "am I" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
az4life Report post Posted October 12, 2005 I am a conservative and as such, a supporter of Bush also. Somewhat reluctant at times as his actions don't always match his political position. Politics I guess. Anyway, I got this in the email today and thought it was worth posting and this thread seemed a good place. Funny, and one of those things that you wish could happen... How President Bush should have said it. (In response to criticism of the Fed Gov handling of the Katrina aftermath) Citizens of the United States, I want to offer my sincerest apologies for the nature of the federal response to the hurricane Katrina disaster. My administration and I have completely failed to predict how stupid and inept the local and state government was in Louisiana. Frankly, I expected a response more along the lines of that from Mississippi, in which the locals were able to support themselves for a few days until we brought in the cavalry. However, it is clear that the state and local government leaders in Louisiana are incapable of such self reliance and emergency planning. So, as Harry Truman said, the buck stops here and I take complete responsibility for failing to recognize that we were dealing with idiots in Louisiana, people who cannot manage their own state. I am embarrassed to admit this, because after all, a simple review of the state's history and position should be more than enough to demonstrate that these people are absolute morons that need to be completely supported from day one. Sometimes I am not very good at seeing the obvious. I should have predicted that the local government would release the criminals being held in prison into the general population instead of evacuating them. Likewise, I failed to predict that Louisiana citizens would begin shooting at and attacking the very people who were trying to help them. Along a similar vein, I should have recognized that we would need to move the people along with the widescreen televisions, clothes and other items they had stolen from local stores. Many people were heard screaming "I just stole this and now you want me to leave it behind!" I frankly cannot believe that I failed to predict such activity in and around New Orleans. Also, I should have recognized that the federal plan would be too complicated for Governor Blanco. My failure to "dumb down" the proposal, my failure to recognize my audience, likely resulted in the loss of hundreds of lives. The extra 24 hours she needed to understand the plan was critical, I should have predicted that she was too stupid to be able to make an executive decision in short order. (said tearfully) Had I only offered a more simple minded plan, more people would have survived. Likewise, I want to apologize for buckling under pressure from democrats to limit what they called pork barrel spending. When Senator Kennedy publicly criticized my spending bill, asking me to reduce the federal spending on local projects in New Orleans, I caved in and reduced expenditures on the levee system that would have strengthened it to a point of being able to withstand the forces of a category four storm. I will never know if my spineless response to Senator Kennedy's harassment was instrumental in the failure of the levee system. However, I can assure the American people that I have learned a valuable lesson. I will no longer allow the ineptness of local and state governments to circle around and cause hardship for the local citizenry. I will step in sooner to save them from their stupidity. I am frankly accustomed to being in a room with people who are smarter than me. I have little experience working with people who are even less intelligent than I am. All I can hope is that the American people forgive me my shortcomings, and God Bless America. George Bush If only he could say it.... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
.270 Report post Posted October 12, 2005 ok, i'll bite. how much is it? Lark. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DEERSLAM Report post Posted October 12, 2005 Got an email with the same punch line, how many is a brazilian, accept it was a blonde joke Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DesertBull Report post Posted October 12, 2005 Bill, Hillary, and Gore are flying to a Democratic fund raiser. As they pass over a large crowd of people, Hillary looks out the window and says, "You know, I could throw a $100 bill out of the window and make someone very happy." Well, trying not look stupid, Gore chimes in with "I could throw out ten, $10 bills, and make even more people happy." Bill hears this and his ego kicks in. "HA HA HA, well, ya'll, I could take these one hundred, $1 bills and throw them out the window and make 100 fine young ladies, eeerrr people very happy." Then the pilot come on the intercom and says "I could throw all 3 of you out the window and make millions happy!" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DEERSLAM Report post Posted October 12, 2005 Bill, Hillary, and Gore are flying to a Democratic fund raiser. As they pass over a large crowd of people, Hillary looks out the window and says, "You know, I could throw a $100 bill out of the window and make someone very happy." Well, trying not look stupid, Gore chimes in with "I could throw out ten, $10 bills, and make even more people happy." Bill hears this and his ego kicks in. "HA HA HA, well, ya'll, I could take these one hundred, $1 bills and throw them out the window and make 100 fine young ladies, eeerrr people very happy." Then the pilot come on the intercom and says "I could throw all 3 of you out the window and make millions happy!" <{POST_SNAPBACK}> YES!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
muledeerarea33? Report post Posted October 13, 2005 OK not a political joke but I still thought it was funny I wife is begging her husband to take her hunting so he finally caves. he teaches her how to shoot takes her scouting and gets her ready. the day of the hunt they go out and he starts walking one way and she walks the other. not 5 minutes go by and he hears a shot. he starts walking back torward her and he hears her yell ITS MINE!!! I SHOT IT ITS MINE!! then another voice NO LADY YOU CANT HAVE IT ITS NOT YOURS. hearing this he hurries over. the yelling goes back in forth then finally he hears DAMNIT LADY OK YOU CAN HAVE IT. JUST LET ME TAKE THE SADDLE OFF FIRST Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
25-06 Report post Posted October 13, 2005 You'se guy's are all way too funny Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KGAINES Report post Posted October 13, 2005 It might cost the U.S. 3 brazillian to get New Orleans rebuilt. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Ernesto C Report post Posted October 13, 2005 My wife was beggin me to take her out to an expensive place.....................I took her to a gas station. Ernesto C Treat every gun as if it were loaded Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
More D Report post Posted October 13, 2005 Thats good Ernesto ! I am going to use that on my wife too! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CamoJeep Report post Posted October 21, 2005 This one's funny if ya get it and stupid if someone has to explain it to you. Good luck! This termite walks into a bar and asks "Is the bartender here?" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
25-06 Report post Posted October 21, 2005 This one's funny if ya get it and stupid if someone has to explain it to you. Good luck! This termite walks into a bar and asks "Is the bartender here?" <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Heck I must be plum stupid , cuz I just don't get it?? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
25-06 Report post Posted October 21, 2005 Wait, I get it....... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
