My Rights As An American Report post Posted July 13, 2010 It was one year ago today that my brother was brutally murdered in Alaska at the age of 37. Words cannot describe the feelings, and I cannot begin to tell the stories we shared or it will not end, neither the stories nor the tears. But know this Jim, you are so dearly loved and missed. Thoughts of you bring tremendous love, thoughts of losing you bring tremendous pain and tears that cannot be held back. I love you so much brother! I am still waiting to hear from you. I still expect my phone to ring. It never does. But I keep hoping and praying that this has all been a tremendously evil nightmare that I can awake from. If only you would call. Dear God, please allow my brother to see and feel how much he is missed. Just for one moment. May he be brought into heaven, for that is truly where he belongs. I love you and miss you. Love, your little brother, Brian Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bonecollector Report post Posted July 13, 2010 That is horrible, sorry for your loss may god bless you during this time. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
My Rights As An American Report post Posted July 13, 2010 It was hard enough just to compose that short note, I could not imagine taking the time to write down all of our stories together. Someday, I will take a week off of work, head up to the mountains or the areas where he taught me to hunt and write down essays on the stories of times together. I am just not ready yet. Too hard still. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mrs125coues Report post Posted July 13, 2010 Sorry for your loss, I can not imagin your pain. But I am sure that family and friends will love to have something to remember him by....shared thru you. I pray that you gain the strengh you need to carry on his memory. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Chef Report post Posted July 19, 2010 He knows how much you love and miss him. You will always know his presence when out in the mountains and hills where you once enjoyed life together. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
My Rights As An American Report post Posted October 25, 2010 Today is my brother's 39th birthday. I still think of him every single day. Just last week they released one of the two murderers on unsecured bond because the judge stated "he is not a threat to society" right now. That sure does re-sharpen the pain of our loss. Jim, happy birthday. We love you and miss you so much. Your little brother, Brian. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
My Rights As An American Report post Posted July 13, 2011 Today marks the two year anniversary of my brother's murder. One of the two scumbags has been free on bond for over 7 months because of his health condition. He has no restrictions except he cannot leave Anchorage without permission. Tough life. Murder someone and get away with it for years. Not a day goes by where my brother does not cross my mind. His picture is with me everywhere I go. Lately, my 4 and 3 year old daughters have been asking a few more questions about their Uncle Jimmy. It is hard to answer them. To pile onto this, yesterday I had to put down my female lab who has been part of our family for 10 years. The house is so much quieter without her around. I find myself reaching out my hand to pet her nose, only to find she is not there. She was my shadow, my buddy whereever I went. Her big sad eyes cried out whenever I left without her. She is so dearly missed. My brother loved my dog so much, so another piece is lost, except for the memories. Jimbo, if you can hear this, I miss you brother. I still hear your voice on the phone, I still hear you in my ear telling me when to shoot that deer, I still hear you teaching me about hunting and fishing, I still see you catching fish while I fish the same dang hole with the same dang bait at the same dang time, but you still catch them all while I wonder what the heck is going on. I love you brother, take care and see you someday. Take care of Joshie and Cora, as they loved you too. You are always in my thoughts. Love you brother. Your little brother, Brian. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tjhunt2 Report post Posted July 13, 2011 Brian, I don't know where to start but let me say my thoughts are with you my cwt brother. Sorry for the loss of your brother and sorry for the loss of your lab. It's been a tough one for ya for sure. I pray you get thru this and I can't imagine what you are actually going thru at this time. Keep the faith in God is about all I can say. If you need a shoulder to lean on you can pm me my friend. As I sit here typing this I have my yellow lab, Lexie, by my side and can't imagine loosing her. She has been my pal since I've got her so I can feel a little of what you might be going thru. I'm here if you need someone to talk to. TJ Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
My Rights As An American Report post Posted July 13, 2011 Thanks buddy. It has not been easy. Calling my parents to check on how they were doing yesterday was tough. Then, throughout the night, I kept expecting to hear my dog moving around, that I needed to take her out to pee, to let her out in the morning, to see her wag her tail when she saw me get up, to feed her, etc. All those little tiny things that were part of your routine are no longer, and you realize it quickly. Man, this was my first ever pet who was a family member to me, and the house is SOOO much quieter, even with 4 and 3 year old daughters and a five month old son. Kinda crazy. Not sure how to describe the loss of my brother, as he was my hunting mentor. I always looked up to him and his abilities. He was 1/2 mountain goat, 3/4 Jeremiah Johnson, 1/4 skunk. He was definitely more than your average weekend hunter and would have lived just like Jeremiah Johnson if given the chance. The guy could go anywhere for any animal, and sure liked to have some fun with the skunk scent at times! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
My Rights As An American Report post Posted October 26, 2011 Happy Birthday Brother! We miss you very much! We made you a special birthday cake today, and sang to you. Hope you could hear it, we tried to sing loudly! It seems to get even tougher as time goes by, not sure how that is possible. I miss you so much brother. Can you even imagine how hard it is to try to explain to a four year old, a three year old and an 8 month old about Heaven, God and why we cannot see Uncle Jimmy? Addy asked me tonight before cake how you died. I could not find it in me to tell her. I hoped she would forget her question so that I would not have to answer it and try to explain how bad people took you away from us, thankfully she forgot she had asked and I let it go. Someday I will not be able to ignore the question anymore. We pray for you every night. In fact, you have had lots of prayers said for you today, from all of your friends and family. We miss you so much. You would have really loved being an uncle to my kids, and they would have loved you. You are always in my thoughts, and I try to live by your good examples you set. You have some big shoes to fill. If you only knew how much you are missed down here, and how much I would give just to talk with you one more time. I want to call you on your cell phone, but I know it won't be you who picks up. Not sure what I would say to the person, because it would always be too little or too much but never enough to hear you. I pray every single day that you will never be forgotten by anyone you touched. I also pray that the evil people who took you away from us face heck everyday in this life and the next. I know that does not always seem very Christian, but I also know that if someone had taken my life, you would be the first to stand up for me. I miss you so much and pray that you are with me everytime I go outdoors. I miss you and love you very much. Love, your little brother. Just typin "your little brother", I can hear you in my mind saying it and your inflection and joy. I miss you so much. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
My Rights As An American Report post Posted October 25, 2012 Happy birthday brother. It is with tears in my eyes that I write this, because I would rather tell you in person. These three and a half years now have been very hard without you as part of my life and the lives of my children. I know that you are taking great care of Cora and Josh, but we would much rather have you here with us. How can this much time pass but not the pain? You are sorely missed and loved. I am watching the sun rise right now, and remembering many days where we did that together overlooking a canyon for deer or javelina, or walking around searching for quail. My lowly solace is that you probably had a hand in making that sunrise look extra nice today, a little sign that you are still watching over the kids. Many tears have been shed by many people since you were taken away from us, and many tears are still being shed. We miss you and love you so much. Tonight we will be baking you a birthday cake, and while I tell the kids so much about you already, I hope to someday be able to tell the kids why you are not with us anymore. Not sure I am ready for that yet, though. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
naturegirl Report post Posted October 25, 2012 I'm very sorry for your loss. My brother too was tragically taken from us at a young age. its been almost 17 years and although it does get some easier with time, the special days and anniversaries are always the hardest. Stay strong for your parents. He will never be forgotten. Your children will know him. they will know through your eyes and your heart. You will know when the age is right to answer the hard questions with your children. Until then age appropriate answers are all that is needed. The little ones really don't need any more info. Hang in there during this tough day. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
My Rights As An American Report post Posted October 25, 2012 Today is one of those days throughout the year when it hurts the most. Christmas, Easter, Thanksgiving, Mother's Day, his birthday, the day he was murdered, all throughout hunting season is tough. Just talked with my mom and it is definitely a tough day for everyone. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mrs125coues Report post Posted October 25, 2012 Still keeping you and your family in my prayers. Stay strong. I am sure that he is looking down on ya'll and is very proud. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
trophyhnter Report post Posted October 25, 2012 Really hard to read as I can feel your emotion in every word you write! My condolences to you and your family for the loss of someone so special to you! Just keep remembering him! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
