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[gauchoand]

To the guy who tried to mug me in downtown Savanna the night before last:

Date 2009-05-27, 1:43 AM E.S.T.

 

I was the guy wearing the black burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over to you, shortly after you pulled a knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this message.

First I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment. I didn't expect you to actually crap your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket. The evening was not that cold and I was wearing the jacket for a reason. My girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber model 1911 .45ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked a shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head, isn't it?

I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to where you'd come from with that brown sludge in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse walking home barefooted since I made you loose your shoes, cell phone and wallet with me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again.]

After I called your mother or "momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as those of four other customers at the gas station on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 150 gallons and was extremely grateful. I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie

Van Go Gos along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!]

I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimpmobile" that was parked at the curb, after I broke the windshield & side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car.

Later, I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone. Ma Bell just now shut down the line, although I only used the phone for just a little over a day now, so what's going on with that?

Earlier I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DAs office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target. The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number, etc.)

In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you, but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatening crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of the rather immediate pressing issues and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon the career path you've chosen to pursue in life. Remember, the next time, you might not be so lucky. Have a good day! Thoughtfully yours, Alex

PS-Remember this motto: An armed society makes for a more civil society!

[bonecollector]

That's awesome, I bet that dude never trys to mug anyone again.

[joeybari]

LOL

 

[Coues&Bass]

WOW!!!!! love the thread!

 

 

[Browning'sCustomMeat]

Awesome....

[GameHauler]

WOO HOO

YOU ROCK

[nateNAU]

this guy is my new hero

[CouesWhitetail]

good one!

[az4life]

Bump////

 

This guy did not sign the email but I wonder what celebrity you think it might have been???

 

 

Ted Nugent

Chuck Norris - (no roundhouse kicks so likely not)

Arnold?

Janet Napoloreno? (not likely because of carrying the gun, not the girlfriend}

 

Your Guesses?????

[Snapshot]

Bump////

 

This guy did not sign the email but I wonder what celebrity you think it might have been???

 

 

Ted Nugent

Chuck Norris - (no roundhouse kicks so likely not)

Arnold?

Janet Napoloreno? (not likely because of carrying the gun, not the girlfriend}

 

Your Guesses?????

 

 

Ted Nugent wouldn't be caught dead in a Burberry coat, and would have just shot him.

 

Chuck Norris would have fed him the knife for dinner.

 

Arnold .........I'll be back!

 

Janet Napolitano