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from some of the personall messages i got, i'm starting wonder about myself. dang, didn't mean to offend nobody. just wanted to perk up the springfever everbody seems to have. anyway, i apologize profusely and sincerely to those who took it wrong. i knew it was a hoax before i called it, after about 2 seconds i knew i'd really been had and hung up after about 5. figgerd everbody else'd do the same. i missed april fools day bein' in the sickbed. sorry if i brought ill repute and bad feelings to Amandas fine websight. Lark.

i have to agree with cousenut. elk are neat animals, but not when they start infesting nontraditional elk country. they've ruined the cedars for muleys, everywhere. they're all over in u28 and u31. won't be long and they will destroy kaibab and the strip too. now they're by picacho? the azgfd needs to do some serious and drastic things to remove elk from places where they aren't needed. they recently transplanted elk in kentucky. if they venture out of the counties where they want them to stay, they're fair game for everyone during deer season. don't even need a tag. keeps em where they want em that way. Az. should look at doing something similar. Lark.

MMMMMMMMMMMMM.............mercury..................Lark

i was at Dale Earnhart Inc. last december. there is actually a Dale Earnhart Jr. remington model 700. they had one there. has a #8 right in the synthetic stock and has his signature on it. i always liked the shirts them probassers wear. all covered with stickers like a cup car. Lark.

well, i'm glad everbuddy is so concerned. at least i give ya somethin' to yack about whilst i was recoverin'. anyway, 15 staples, 3 foot o' rubber tube, a couple yards o' kevlar and about 300 internal stiches later, and i'm doin' fair. pierre, my haitian witch doctor, (he really is a haitian. one cool dude too.) said i'm better than new. it's sorta cool too, i got this neat little round scar where the drain tube was and it's about an inch or so from the big long scar (i useta have a belly button, now i gotta new belly zipper) so's i can tell folks it's a bullet hole. hernys just ain't much to brag about, ya know. ended up havin' 5 hernys. poor pierre tried to do it arthscopic, but had to lay me open and do it old school. kevlar feels sorta wierd too. sorta like your belly itches inside. i'm glad i took half a dozen mini balls with me. i chewed everone of em in half by the time he got done cuttin' and sewin'. couldn't see havin' em sedate me, when i can just bite on a bullet for awhile. anyway, i'm back at the grind. still feel a little nutkicked, but it's gettin' better. don't hafta stuff my guts back in half a dozen times a day anymore. i got to where i really like vicodin. heck, i'll probly hafta go to rehab to get offa that stuff. another month and i can do whatever i want, accordin' to pierre. i axed him if i could do backflips and stuff in a month and he said yeah. i said that was wierd, cuz i couldn't do em before. that bone in his nose got all crooked when i said that. he don't understand hillbilly humor. later dudes, Lark.

i gotta go get my guts stuffed back in on monday and won't be computerized for awhile. so i won't be able to trick allen taylor with some other bs story on april fools this year. i still gotta chuckle after last year. anyway, just a headsup so that allen will know that he just hasta look out for the rest o' you jokers this year, and not me. if i end up with some good lookin' scars i'll see if Amanda will post em. o' course, with all the bullet holes, barbwire pin stripin', bear claw marks, antler gouges, knife wounds, snakebites, etc. there ain't a whole lotta room for new scars on my beat up ol' carcass. Lark.

i don't need my guts out. they do that on their own. i need em to stay in. i'll be ok. my haitian dr., pierre, told me "don' worry mon, be heppy". Lark.

last one i went to was the BNSHW deal. nobody but me showed up. go figger. sorry no good &^%$*#er's, i think they were just trickin' me. Lark.

so in summary, .25-06, if ya wanna know what bear meat tastes like, lick yer dog's butt. it took awhile, but you guys finally figgerd out the answer i was tryin' for. Lark.

yeah, ain't it cool?

yeah, that or either really friendly with their dog.

what i wanna know is how a guy would know somethin' tasted like dog butt? Lark.

did they taste like dog butt?

when rattlers bite me they usually just break off their fangs in my hide. the ones that get em in usually die from whatever it is i give em. seriously, i don't think the snakes will be much worse this year than last because of one wet spring. could make an impact on next year. first all them rabbits and rats and stuff have to reproduce to some big numbers and the snakes have to get in gear with them and then reproduce, too. doesn't mean that a guy shouldn't be aware of em tho. nasty stinkin' serpents. i've seen em hurt guys real bad. i'd think that the fact that there will be more weeds and vegitation around your house and out buildings and stuff will add to the danger because it will make more places for snakes to hang out. rattlers won't stay in the sunlight. always in the shade, unless they're moving. it's the ones you startle cleaning up stuff that get ya. a guy always needs to be careful in Az. i dug up a nest of em in december once that coulda got me if they weren't so cold. main thing is always be careful and watch what you're doing. Lark.

if you guys ever ate any good meat you wouldn't know what to do. "Bear, the other green meat". "Javelina, breakfast of wierdos". ya'll need to try somethin' good, like spam or headcheese. ya ever eat javelina oysters? ticks won't even get on a javelina. like ron white says "things that make ya go BLLUUHHH!". Lark.

whaddaya do with the gators after they eat all the snakes? Lark.

that's why hounds lick their butts. tryin' to get the taste outta their mouth. Lark. oh yeah, i forgot, told ya so.

bullwidgeon called in a cow. now dat's funny.

what does "diurnal" mean? in case it's derogatory anyway. i might wanna call somebody that. Lark.

when did they start havin' a spring hunt again? last i knew it was a summer hunt. i quit even applying when they moved the season back a month because the forest circus said it was hurting the roads. used to be a great deal when you could hunt em in late march and april, when the strut was actually still on. now the season doesn't start until around the first of may, the hens are already bred and sitting nests by then and the toms are off wandering around waiting for the next year because the strut's already over. Lark.

it's been my experience that even if it is cooked right, you're dog still might not eat it. bear is ok, at best. maybe one rung up the ladder from javelina. some years back i shot a big boar with my bow, during an archery elk hunt. still had my hounds and i thought i'd try and feed it to them. didn't want them getting wormy and they wouldn't eat raw bear anyway, so i pitted it. hung it in wet gunny sacks and cooked it twice. rendered all the grease out of it that way. when we pulled it out, it smelled so good that we ate some and it wernt bad. gave 70 or 80 lbs to my pal and him and his boys ate the whole pile in one deer season. my wife took another 70 or 80 lbs or and made hot tamales out of it. about 'leventyfourteen of em. they were good too. it was good with barbecue sauce on a samwich too. even took some to a potluck and didn't tell nobody what it was till it was gone. that's the only bear i ever ate that was ok. it wasn't great, but it wernt bad either. all the other bear i've tried to gag down was pretty rough. tried jerky, roast, stew, put it in beans, fried, grilled. it just ain't all that good. it's one of the main reasons i don't shoot em anymore. Lark.

yup, it's a travesty. like the song says, "you're the reason God made oklahoma". it's like i keep tellin' my buddy from durant, gotta have some place to keep all them okies. shiras, coues deer and oklahoma whitetail are about as similar as clydsdales and shetlands. as far as the hunt, coues will kick an eastern whitetail hunters butt. they live in some real rough country and are real spooky. there ain't enough space or time to 'splain to anyone who thinks it's a "travesty" why they're cool to hunt. Lark.

make sure you pick a caliber that is going to be around. there are some of these short mags that are gonna be short lived. nothing wrong with .25 caliber, but it has never been a real popular bore size. i've read a little on the balistics and it's pretty hot, but is it gonna make the grade? there are so many of these new short mags being literally dumped on the market that some of them are going to go away. whatever the next craze is will wipe a bunch of em out. you'll still be able to buy brass i'm sure. at least something that you can resize. but i don't know about factory ammo. just something to think about. Lark.

heard this weekend that a good friend died from what they think was cwd. he felt like he got it from a sick elk from u2 that he had cut the antlers off of. he felt like that he got it when he cleaned out the brain cavity. the guys name was Jake Good. he lived in springerville for the last 15-20 years. he was originally from safford. i knew him quite well, but didn't know he was ill till after he died. if i'd known earlier i'da tried to at least attend his funeral and talk with his family about it so's i'd know more about it. do know several folks that talked to him quite a bit before he passed and from what i can gather he did have cwd, or something similar to it and that the game and fish was aware of the situation. i hate to hear this. Jake was a pretty good feller. the thing that i don't understand is that i haven't heard anything about this from anyone except folks that knew Jake. why ain't it in the news or at least on the game and fish web site? best i can tell it's the best kept secret in the state right now. to me, it's just another reason to clean the elk out of the non-traditional country they have ruined with their proliferation. there are several "elk farms" in close enough proximity to u2 that the disease could have come from something like that too. anyway, i guess until something with some real facts and stuff behind it comes out, this is all conjecture, but i know this much, Jake is dead and everyone feels he got sick from a sick elk. one thing that surprised me is that he felt like he contracted it this past fall, in november i think, and he already died from it. pretty quick. he was in his 60's, but a tough, in shape guy. no pud for sure. story i was told, was that a hunter shot an obviously sick bull. staggerin' slobberin' sick. Jake was working for another outfitter who is denying that bull was sick. anyway, it ended being his job to cut off the antlers and clean em up and this is where he felt like he got it. bad news. the passing of a good guy from a disease that we are all potentially in contact with. still wonder why it ain't been in the news? Lark.

my son's tikka kicked real hard. he put a simms on it and tamed it right down. it's a real light rifle and it was no fun at all too shoot. Lark.