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heck, the funnest part o' bird huntin' is ketchin the guys yer with in a position that you can shoot em "accidently". once me and another redneck were dove huntin' by a pigfarm. standin' on a canal bank. along come some other dork and parked hisself about 100 yds down the bank from my pal. whenever a dove would fly between em, this guy would shoot at it. hit the guy i was with several times. even after he asked him to knock it off. anyway, another dove comes in and this dumbass peppered the heck outta him. he yells at him "Hey! has that gun got a front sight on it?" the dumbass looks at it says "yeah". my pal says, "you oughta file it off". the dumbass says "why?" "so it won't hurt so bad when i shove it up your butt!!!!". then he levelled off and shot the guy back. he got the message and left. Lark.

i'm surprised ya didn't wake up the wino that was livin' in it. heck, mosta them folks in RV wouldn't a knowed it was gone for a week or so. i useta have a mule that i had to go look for everytime i needed him. seems somebody else always had a better need for him than me. once i was in the middle o' nowhere on a borrowed horse, because i couldn't find my mule, when a guy rode up on him. i traded him rigs and made him take the horse back. just another day in RV. Lark.

what azyoung says is true. don't ever believe any poll. they're always set up to get the statistics they want. and besides, if "only" 1400 kids got killed, that means that about 50 million didn't get killed. Lark.

a good man died saturday. best hunter i ever knew also. Lamell Ellsworth, born 2-25-1933, died 4-30-2005. lived in Showlow, Az. he suffered a severe stroke about 8 years ago that left him paralyzed on his left side. much to the joy of every deer, elk, lion, turkey and bear in the country. a pure tracker. probably the best there ever was. best hunter and angler i ever knew, for sure. knew about how an animal or fish was going to act better than any bioligist ever would. a true student of the woods. only man i ever knew who could track down a lion and kill it, with no dogs. just get on a fresh track and run it down. did it multiple times too. most of his game was taken with an antique longbarreled .30/30 that was passed down from his father and most of his fish were taken on a cane pole. he could "figure 8" in huge trout with an 18' foot cane pole with 2 pound line and never break off. truly amazing to watch. knew more tricks than you could print in 50 books. took countless huge muleys and bears. many record heads of all Arizona's species. the kind of a man that tall tales are told about, but they aren't tall tales. he was a nice guy too. humble, hardworking, honest and friendly. it's useless to even try and list his feats in the mountains. just too many of them. he's survived by his wife, Pam, 2 sons, a couple siblings, and by the mountains. wherever you walk in Arizona, Lamell's footprints are probably under yours. i'll miss him sorely and am proud to say he was my friend. Lark.

anybody that'd hunt bears during this kinda weather needs to be examined. heck, it's too hot to swim. i know too. biggest bear i ever shot was in weather like this. 7'6", probly over 450 lbs. shot him in a prickly pear patch. he was literally as fat as a pig. didn't have any backpacks. while we were packin' out the quarters, it was so hot that the fat would melt and run down your back and then set up like candle wax. had bear fat dribbled all the way down my back to my shoes. my wife had to take a butter knife and scrape it offa me and then hosed me off in the yard, before i'd even go get in the shower. true story. don't hunt bears when it's hot. it's a miserable experience. Lark.

the price o' gas is what it is. not much any of us normal folks can do about it. what pisses me off to no end is to pay nearly $3 for a gallon and not have any water or paper towells and maybe one broke squeegee to clean off your winnders with. i made a big scene at 2 places this weekend over it. am-pm in gilbert and the alberstons at power and qc. and i'm gonna keep it up too. seems like the higher the gas price the bigger pricks the gas vendors become. revolt, people, revolt. i know it ain't gonna make a bit o' difference in the price, but at least i get to holler at some dumb gas station manager. Lark.

the 10% cap will have more to do with elk tags than anything. the extra green just makes them horns bigger. plus, it's easy on the eyes. Lark.

no aliens. mt. lions. coues deer are the ideal lion food. about the right size for them to eat before they get too ripe. not too big and fairly easy to bring down. and they live in ideal lion country. they probly kill more bucks than does. bucks will try to fight em instead of running. first place they'll bite one is usually in the neck. after they're done eatin' on one then the coyotes and foxes and birds take over. sometimes a bear will finish em off. between all the different carrion eaters the bones get munched up and scattered pretty well, even the skull, a lotta times. sometimes a coyote will pack whatever it can back to it's den for pups to gnaw on. no telling for sure why you didn't find the whole skull, othere that it got chewed up by one or all of the above. then porkypines will eat up the antlers if they find em. nature is an unending cycle. Lark.

a friend o' mine was tryin' to get on a plane in SLC. kept settin' off the metal detector. he kept tellin' em he had a rod in his femure in his leg but they dint believe him. so he pulled down his pants and showed em the scar. and he dint have no underwear on. he was tryin' to pull his pants down and the metal detector guy was tryin' to pull em up. it was real funny. this was nearly 30 years ago, or he'da probly went to prison. Lark.

'06?!?!!? you stinkin' homer. don't be associatin' me with no junk. Lark.

take that georgy girl and his toady griz. are they gonna go back to 10% for bighorn too? they bumped it up to 15% guranteed this year. Lark.

best be ready to duck. it's a known fact that a 7mm/08 will bounce offa javelina. a bear'll just go, "dang flies". Lark.

it sticks out like a sore thumb. it's right inside that little orange square. Lark.

a few years ago i stopped with a friend at a gun shop in the showlow area. he had a lever action browning .22/.250 he was thinking of trading. real nice rifle. they offered him $125 for it. like new. leupold scope. the fat slug behind the counter had some gun trade-in book he was getting the price from. anyway, we left, after tellin' the guy a true story about what he really was. next day he sold it for $400 and i think the guy that bought it got a good deal. best thing is to decide what you want for the gun and sell it. or be like me and never get rid o' one. there ain't no such thing as a bad gun. anyways, unless it's a 7mm/08. Lark.

$4!!!!!!! dang. you're right. best hunt real close. another reason to ride a hayburner too. Lark.

i must really be old or have just spent a lotta time in the woods. could be both i guess. plus i've always run with a real ignernt bunch o' fellers. i've either had every one of these things happen to me or have witnessed them happen to someone else firsthand. from shirts, coats and coveralls gettin' crapped on, bees and yeller jackets in the mouth, fallin' down, barfin', missin', crashin', etc., etc. i've been in on some stuff that was funny as heck but too stupid or gross to even list on here. i mean i gotta reputation, but dang, i don't want nobody to know all the truth. just the real good stuff. this is good stuff. makes me realize i ain't the only goofy sucker in the woods. Lark.

i went to "starved rock" state park out in ill-noise, oncet. Lark.

hey casey, that sorta splains why you look a lot like ned "squeel like a pig" beatty. my gramma is from Hazzard, Kentucky. i know all about hillbillys and am proud to be one. Lark.

i saw it on south park. Lark.

i didn't have room, i mean the "aliens" didn't have room for all the letters. guess them little green suckers are gettin' more hip all the time. Lark.

kgaines, i dint mean illegal aliens. i mean roswell kinda aliens. the ones with the probes. Lark.

it just mysteriously showed up in my pasture this weekend. i think it's one o' them alien crop circle deals. Lark.

hey casey, what's a dad grandpa uncle? is your family good at banjo playin'? couldn't help myself there. commas, dude, commas. Lark.

ok bass, it's on the way. Lark.

ok, we all know that i know everything, so i'm gonna give you some advice on crosshair levelling. get it where you think it's fairly close. make sure the eye relief is right. without looking through the scope, while standing up, put the rifle to your shoulder and close your eyes. wiggle the rifle around until it feels right. don't look through the scope. keep your eyes closed. get it nestled in your shoulder where it feels good, get your cheek where it needs to be, etc. then open your eye and note how the crosshairs look. try this several times and then adjust the hairs until they look dead level. lining up the vertical hair on the corner of your neighbors house or some other structure that you know should be real plumb, will help you too. this works real well in getting the crosshairs to where they work for you and they will end up lined up well with the center vertical plane of the rifle. Lark.