Edge

Mayor of Snakesville, that is... Since the beginning of May I've had a lot of snake encounters, two of which were a little unusual. Yesterday I go hiking near Lake Pleasant, showed a buddy from WI his first Diamondback. He asked me to spare his new friend, that'll cost ya beers at Wild Horse West. A few hours later I'm horseback riding behind the house, another rattler on that trail. I have a couple tall palm trees out back, maybe 2-2 1\2 stories tall. Sunday evening I pull up a chair out back to enjoy the sunset and a cold beer when SPLAT! A full grown King snake had fallen out of the tallest palm and landed at my feet. I'm guessing he was raiding bird nests up there. Soon as he dusted himself off, he headed right back up the same palm. Night before, a buddy asked me over for a couple drinks and patrolling his desert acreage for rattlers. None were found there but on the short ride home, gopher snake in the trail, no bother. But as I came to the back forty, there's a fat little sidewinder meandering along. Sorry, no pics and no pass for that horned little serpent. I've already spent over a grand on vet bills this month. Funny, just hours earlier the wife was asking if we had sidewinders in the area. Rare, I said. Two weeks ago I drive out to the gold claim just missing a large rattler crossing the road and into some poor slobs yard, bad omen? I drive a quad to a trail I've established up a steep brush incline. I park and hoof it. Get to the parking spot and have a rattlesnake waiting for me. I'm in no mood to kill him, it's his yard, so I take my walking stick and prod him to move along. I could be up the hill working till nightfall and don't want to deal with this dude in the dark. Instead of heading up the wash like a good boy, he crawls under my quad. This is getting complicated. He refuses to leave. Twice I move my quad (feet up on the seat), twice he crawls back under it. I back it up far enough this last time to dispatch his butt. Didn't like doing that but a snake bite there, rather problematic. No cell service, isolated, no thanks. Keep an eye out friends.

Pretty sure this fellow was the guest speaker at the SCI banquet a couple years back.

Hope she's alright, that had to be scary.

I stole it but it struck a chord

Ain't that romantic. Saw two more this morning.

Sheeeeeiiiittttt, bro don't get all jelly. If you had that mirror and a bod like mine, you'd never leave the house.

Can I get back to ya after I measure my bedroom ceiling?

Maybe it's the same one attached to your boot?

I didn't see what everybody's upset about, then I noticed how they parked. What jerks.

I'm building my home a block from Luke AFBs 03 runway, I'm expecting peace and quiet out in the burbs.

Have we become a nation that has lost its collective mind! • If a dude pretends to be a woman, you are required to pretend with him. • Somehow it’s un-American for the census to count how many Americans are in America. • Russians influencing our elections are bad, but illegal Mexicans voting in our elections are good. • It was cool for Joe Biden to "blackmail" the President of Ukraine, but it’s an impeachable offense if Donald Trump inquires about it. • Twenty is too young to drink a beer, but eighteen is old enough to vote. • People who have never owned slaves should pay slavery reparations to people who have never been slaves. • Inflammatory rhetoric is outrageous, but harassing people in restaurants is virtuous. • People who have never been to college should pay the debts of college students who took out huge loans for useless degrees. • Immigrants with tuberculosis and polio are welcome, but you’d better be able to prove your dog is vaccinated. • Irish doctors and German engineers who want to immigrate must go through a rigorous vetting process, but any illiterate Central-American gang-banger who jumps the southern fence is welcome. • $5 billion for border security is too expensive, but $1.5 trillion for “free” health care is not. • If you cheat to get into college you go to prison, but if you cheat to get into the country you go to college for free. • People who say there is no such thing as gender are demanding a female President. • We see other countries going Socialist and collapsing, and it seems like a great plan to us. • Some people are held responsible for things that happened before they were born, and other people are not held responsible for what they are doing right now. • Criminals are catch-and-released to hurt more people, but stopping them is bad because it's a violation of THEIR rights. * And pointing out all this hypocrisy somehow makes us "racists".

Ahhh the mystery of the rattleless rattlers revealed.

Why would I deal with a live venomous snake for $20 if I can get as much or more for his tail? And if I were to go around collecting venomous snakes, wouldn't a $30 snake grabber be worth the investment over a creosote twig?

Says u still can't receive PM. Who'd u piss off now?

Most military base housing fifedoms make civilian HOAs look like kindergarten.

U realize your PM box is full, right?

Ewwww pandemic. Me soooo skeered

I'm not allowed in HOAs